


Royal Affair

by Oh_Toasty



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Crack, Gift Fic, It was all for my friend, Multi, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 04:45:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3515801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oh_Toasty/pseuds/Oh_Toasty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A crack fic for my friend who wanted a Pope and George Takei fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Royal Affair

When George divorced Brad he didn't want to be anywhere near him, so he went to England. Of course the press found out about it which resulted in his PR agent setting up meet and greets and basically anything else that would be good press. Hence why he was in the sitting room of Buckingham Palace as a servant took his bags up to one of the many guest rooms. George was surprised that his agent had been able to arrange this, surprised that Queen Elizabeth was taking visitors at all after the death of her husband six months ago. 

After a few more minutes of waiting the queen waltzed into the room a picture of grace and elegance. 

"Would you like anything? Tea perhaps?" She asked and her voice was soft and lilting. 

"Yes, please your majesty" He managed to utter. 

The queen smiled daintily and said, "Please call me Elizabeth I invited you here because I think we could be good friends. That would be awkward if you were always stumbling over silly titles."

By now a servant had returned with the tea. Elizabeth took her cup and once George had received his dismissed all of the servants. 

Elizabeth started their conversation, "I know you were taking a holiday because of your divorce but why England? Most people go somewhere tropical."

"Those who know me know that I am a Britanophile, which includes my affection for Scotland and Wales as well. I love things British. My car is British. My wardrobe, to a good extent, is British. I even love the food in London– I think British food has shaken its prevailing perception as indigestible and become quite wonderful. I try to get to Britain for holidays as often as I can. I love things British." George babbled. 

The queen gave a small chuckle and said, "well that's nice to hear."

Then a servant ran into the room looking awfully flustered with a curtesy they exclaimed, "your majesty, I'm sorry to interrupt but  
Pope Francis has arrived earlier than we planned and his room is not ready."

The queen began to rise saying, "Send him in here for now so that he doesn't have to wait any longer. As for a room-". 

Upon seeing Elizabeth's hesitation George said, "He can take mine. For the time being I can sleep on the couch."

"I wouldn't want to do that to you George." Elizabeth began, "And I can't let you sleep out here. I'm sure that if I ask Pope Francis will let you have the couch in his room."

"It would be no trouble," the Pope's voice said from the doorway. "After all it's my fault for arriving early."

"Thank you very much," George said, "I'm George Takei."

"Pope Francis as I'm sure you know. You can just call me Francis though." 

George gave a big smile and nodded in acknowledgment. All the while his eyes were on the pope's lips. 

His attention was ripped away from them and redirected to Elizabeth's when the Queen spoke again, "Well now that the sleeping arrangements are made perhaps we should move this to the bedroom."

George swallowed hard, surely he had imagined the flirtatious tone from the queen. After all nobody would be that bold with the pope right there. 

Before George could think anything else Francis spoke up, "That would be quite nice. If I understand the situation correctly George also has yet to see where we are staying."

The queen began to lead the way after brushing off the servants offer to take George and Francis to their room. 

"I'm their host," she explained. "It's only right that I show them to their rooms."

With that the last of the servants disappeared. 

"There we are." Elizabeth exclaimed, "they should be gone for the rest of the night."

"That's, that's good." George stuttered looking at the woman before him and wondering if he was the only one hearing that flirty tone. 

"Yes it is," the pope said his voice slightly rougher then it had been before. When George looked at him in surprise he saw Francis looking at the queen, eyes darkened with lust. 

Queen Elizabeth threw open the door to their suite and said, "this is where you'll be staying. Go take a look around and feel free to ask me for anything you may need."

The two men went to go explore their rooms as the queen began to take off her crown. 

At the pope's questions look she explained, "it can get get quite heavy after awhile, you don't mind do you?"

"Of course not," Francis agreed already distracted but the sight of George bending down in front of him to get a closer look at the carpet. 

"Quite the view isn't it?" The queen asked her eyes following the pope's to George's rear end before flicking back up to meet Francis's gaze. 

"Yes, it is" George agreed completely oblivious. "Where'd you get it?"

"Persia," she answered but George was now looking at the tent in the pope's robes. 

"Oh screw it," George finally said after they all stood in for a few moments the air thick with sexual tension. 

With those words George grabbed the queen's hand pulling her to him as took a step forwards to place a kiss on the pope's lips. Elizabeth watched for a second delighted by this turn of events before joining in by running her hands down the pope's chest. Unfortunately that seemed to snap him out of his daze and Francis took a step back. 

"No, I can't. My-my vows-" he cut himself off with a breathy moan as George strategically placed a hand down south. 

"No one has to know." The queen smirked, "Besides don't you want us, because we want you."

The pope shook his head still trying to hold onto his commitments. 

"Alright then," George sighed. "I guess you'll just have to stay here and watch us." 

George began to pull the queen away but evidently the thought of watching without touching was to much because the pope lunged forwards to kiss the two of them before pulling them down onto the bed. 

HALF AN HOUR LATER:

"Well, that was better than anything I've done since before I married Phillip." The queen mumbled living in bed with her face pressed into George's chest. 

"Definitely better than Brad ever was," George chirped rubbing his foot up and down the pope's leg. 

"Only thing I've ever done. And I really shouldn't have." Francis said with widening eyes. 

"Just pretend it never happened and comeback next weekend so we can do it again." Elizabeth demanded before drifting off to sleep. 

"I wouldn't mind that," George agreed and Francis nodded. 

"I shouldn't but I will."


End file.
